HOW WAS I TO KNOW?

“Wake up children”! Mum said repeatedly, it is time to prepare for school.

Sam and I hate school so much, but mummy says “school makes us better people” and I don’t believe that. I hate school; I have no friends because they keep hammering on the fact that I have no dad. They tag me as “the fatherless girl”. It is disheartening knowing that people don’t take my emotions seriously; instead they whale at me, and make me remember how much my mum hurts when Sam and I are away from her.

“I don’t want to be in school”! I told mum. “School doesn’t make everyone better” I said. Am tired of school mum I want to be with you, mum hugged me and whispered “Lorry you make me…” I did not understand why she said that, it just couldn’t be because I said I wanted to be with her. As I raised my head hoping to understand what she meant by her statement, mum was in tears… I couldn’t figure why she was in tears, I have always known my mum to be “the tough weed”.

When Sam entered the truck, ready for school, I thought! Sam was unusually quiet and I was confused! “What exactly is going on here”? I said, and then Sam said he was hungry. I was hungry too but I couldn’t say, because there was obviously nothing to eat. There was no food, no money, no friends, nobody. We just had ourselves and our neighbors, a home without a father, a home with so much sorrow, a crying home. I held up my tears, which was like being at the top of a mountain surrounded with dark waters. When I got to class all I wondered was why did dad have to go? Why did I fall into such a hopeless family? For a second I thought, am I not being heartless by words? Then I began to reason out ways I could help my family, and yes! I was going to do all I had to do to make money regardless of what the outcome was going to be. After school I did not wait for mum to come pick Sam and I, instead I took the risk to go home. On getting home it felt like no one was home so I assumed she went to pick us up, when I got to my room there was a letter on my bed…

A letter from mum saying “ My lovely child, I have done all I can to keep you till this very age although I hid so many secrets from you but now I would tell you all”. I paused because I was scared to know what she had to say, besides where is mum? I was worried there was an usual meal set for Sam and I, I was happy about that but still I was surprised.

I continued the letter “daughter I have Kidney disease, ever since before your dad died. I have been in pains each day, hoping I would be better but I was wrong and am sorry”. It was like I was struck with sudden pain in my head, I felt my eyes full, my hands wet, I was tensed! I shouted “mum”!! I ran off to her room, mum was right there on her bed starring at me. I was scared… I got closer placed my hands on her but she did not move, I looked closely, Mum is dead! Was I to know mum was going through all this pains? She never told me what was wrong each time she cried. When Sam walked into the room in tears holding a white paper, in that paper was a test result showing mum’s critical illness. Why didn’t mum tell me?

Mum left us hopeless… but how was I to know what the problem was when she didn’t tell me?